Perspective

Today I got a stone-cold dose of perspective.

It was precisely what the Doctor had ordered.


On my laptop are a variety of different documentaries I have not yet had the time to watch.

This afternoon I thought I'd sit down and watch one.


I picked one at random.

It was a BBC documentary and quite a well produced one. The topic of the documentary was disabled orphans living in state care in the Ukraine.

Despite the subject matter I decided I'd watch the documentary.

Around 34 minutes into the documentary I found myself pressing 'pause' and in tears.


Not only did I feel sad, I also felt many other emotions.

The most overwhelming one being disgust - with myself.


These children smiled, laughed and seemed to keep a positive perspective on life no matter what it through their way and despite the fact that the circumstances they found themselves in were no fault of their own.


I was involved in a car accident on Tuesday.  I had been feeling angry because my car was 'written off' and I was not sure what would happen next.

All of the emotions I had felt - especially those involved me feeling sorry for myself suddenly flew out the window.


I was disgusted at myself for worrying so profusely about things that truly don't matter.


Sometimes it's hard to see outside the little world that you live in. But today I started to question why it was I had forgotten to be thankful for all I had - instead of being angry about trivial matters.

I'd like to place blame - but that's just a cop-out.  I had a fabulous life.


I have a job I like.

I have a roof over my head.

I have access to healthy food.

I have access to clean water.

I have people in my life that not only 'get me' but love me, despite my hyperactivity and anxiety.

I have some amazing friends and family in my life.



I am disgusted with myself for not seeing how wonderful my life is and how blessed I am.

..and I guess no matter what happens in the future I wish to be a better person - count my blessings and keep moving forward.


I feel like it's more than me being a 'good person' - it's about me being the person I want to be, someone I can say I honestly feel proud of being and who gives to others.


I guess sometimes it's all about perspective.