The Light and the Dark

I strive to be honest.

Which isn’t always easy.....

For a number of reasons.

So prepare yourself for what you’re about to read...

I have Depression.

I also have an Anxiety Disorder.

My whole life I have lived with both; at times successfully and at times rather unsuccessfully.

For many years I tried to find relief in: meditation, yoga, exercise, a vegetarian diet, counselling…and to be honest - well, the list is rather long…

At age twenty-seven I decided to see a Doctor and get help in the form of Medication and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

I remember feeling sad at the time – like I was a ‘failure’. 

I’d tried my whole life to heal things naturally and without drugs of any kind.

Nowadays I see things far differently.

My father once said to me, “if a Diabetic needs Insulin to correct their blood-sugar levels nobody questions it.  If a person who has a chemical imbalance in their brain needs medication to correct this imbalance they are judged and a stigma still exists.  It’s not right.”

Perhaps he’s right. 

Perhaps he’s not.

I tend to agree with him, but that’s because I’ve struggled my whole life with depression and anxiety attacks that have been at times debilitating.  I cannot describe in words how awful an experience they are/were. 

Those that experience anxiety and depression or love someone who experiences these things can probably relate to what I am writing here. 

Please understand that I am only expressing my feelings here.  I am not saying that medication and cognitive behavioural therapy works for everyone.  Some people may benefit from it, some may not.  I have found that healthy eating, exercise and meditation have also assisted my mental health.  Again – these things may assist some people and not others.

The reason I have decided to write this piece is because I want to share my experiences with others.  I’ve struggled my whole life with my anxiety and depression.  Despite this I am proud of how much I’ve achieved, how far I’ve come and how I’ve dealt with circumstances that in the past would have made me so anxious I would not have been able to do them at all…. 

And I want to share my story with others....because, well...

I want people to know they're not alone.